Part of the answer might be to encourage a succession of popular and well proposed Commons RFCs moving beyond the polarization of "OMG porn" vs. "OMG censorship".
Topics such as the OTRS discussion http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Commons:Requests_for_comment/OTRS_2012 are reasonable and may result in useful changes in policy, not just on Commons either. Perhaps we should create handy shortcuts for these (like [[com:RFC6]] or somesuch) and keep plugging them in all related more visible disputes and wonky inflammatory deletion review discussions.
Sensible discussions might draw in more "stable" folks to consider going for commons RFA too.
Cheers, Fae