[WikiEN-l] Wikipedia reaches 3 millionth article

[Emily Monroe]

Oh, now THAT'S funny.

Smiling,
Emily
On Aug 19, 2009, at 8:19 AM, David Gerard wrote:

> 2009/8/17 Keith Old <keithold at gmail.com>:
>
>> The Christian Science Monitor reports/
>> http://features.csmonitor.com/innovation/2009/08/17/wikipedia-blows-past-3-million-english-articles/
>
>
> WIKIALITY, The Tenderloin, Saturday -- The online encyclopedia,
> knowledge base, social networking site, essay repository, blog, search
> engine, news aggregator, dessert wax and floor topping Wikipedia has
> reached its three millionth article and ceased all editing.
>
> Palo Alto Research Center reported that only 1% of edits by random
> users were kept. "They were all unspeakable shit," said burnt-out
> administrator WikiFiddler451. "All of them. No, I'm not exaggerating.
> Go to Special:Newpages and read a day's entries some time. You'll
> start by deleting the whole database, before you get onto plotting the
> doom of humanity. Christ, why go on?"
>
> Recent media coverage has highlighted the "inclusionist/deletionist"
> wars of 2005, including enquiries from Endemol looking for a
> "passionate deletionist" to join Big Brother 11, "preferably one with
> big tits." It is thought that Wikipedia could have had ten million
> articles by now had they not viciously abused their editorial powers
> by deleting your valuable contributions about you, your teacher at
> school, your garage band or your dog or the many cameraphone pictures
> you uploaded of your penis.
>
> "Everything's already been written," said WikiFiddler451, burning the
> last of his Star Wars figurines before leaving for his rehabilitation
> course in social interaction skills and basics of hygiene. "Do you
> have any idea how big THREE MILLION articles is? A BILLION GODDAMN
> WORDS! Are you going to read more than a droplet of that in your life?
> No you aren't. You're following your goddamn Twitter.
>
> "But hey, only two million articles are The Simpsons in popular
> culture or Doctor Who in popular culture. No-one actually reads this
> stuff, they just write it. We have LiveJournal for stuff people write
> that no-one wants to read. 'Oh, I wandered lonely as a cheeseburger/
> My passionate angst filling my Coke with darkness.' Or Knol. KNOL!
> I'll just Bing that one."
>
> Shell-shocked veterans of Wikipedia are at a loss now that it's all
> over -- wandering the alleyways of the Internet, mumbling to
> themselves about "ANI" and "we had to delete the village in order to
> save it," threatening the policemen moving them on with "arbitration"
> and bursting into tears when the policeman answers "citation needed."
> Mere children, sent into the culture wars to save knowledge from
> horrors they barely understood, and coming home as crippled wrecks. No
> victory parades for these brave men and women. There is only so much
> Citizendium, Uncyclopedia and 4chan can do for these child heroes.
> With your help, we can build Potemkin wikis for these honorable
> veterans, where they can safely ban and unban, revert and edit-war,
> and correct the naming of Danzig^WGdansk^WDanzig^WGdansk without the
> possibility of damage to actual human readers. Please donate so that
> they may never bug you again.
>
>
> (posted by me at http://is.gd/2opuE )
>
>
> - d.
>
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