Obviously it's not from Jimbo, but I wonder who's behind this...
-------- Original Message --------
Subject: A Compassionate, Yet Ferocious, Christian Rebuke from Jimbo Wales
Date: Wed, 8 Mar 2006 12:34:06 -0500
From: jwales(a)wikia.com
To: alphasigmax(a)gmail.com
Dear Alphax,
Jimbo Wales has been to the fabulous website "Betty Bowers is a Better
Christian Than You." In perusing the joyous insight and delicate turn
of phrase of America's Best Christian, Mrs. Betty Bowers, Jimbo Wales
has come to the sad realization that, while no one could ever be as good
a Christian as Mrs. Bowers, Jimbo Wales is verily Jesus on the cross
compared to you, dear.
With this in mind, Jimbo Wales asked Mrs. Bowers and her True Christian
friends at Landover Baptist Church to review your chances of salvation
and send you this godly rebuke - not with any genuine hope of saving you
(any more than all those prolonged "sessions in recovery" made a dent in
your outrageous neediness), but simply to remind you that Jimbo Wales is
just a little bit better than you. For what is the point of being
saved, if you can't remind others that they are not?
Print out the following "purse-size" rebuking memorandum and read it
loudly in a very public place (for it is only in inciting the scorn of
strangers that you will gain insight into the opinion of friends).
MEMORANDUM
From: The Landover Baptist Salvation Evaluation Committee (Subcommittee
for the Irretrievably Lost, Whether Catholics, Mormons, Muslims or
Unrepentant Serial Killers)
To: Alphax
Re: Your Salvation
As the vessel of the Lord's perfect message of boundless wrath and
annoyance with His imperfect creations, the matter of your wistful hopes
of salvation was brought before the full board of the Landover Baptist
Salvation Evaluation Committee on this very day.
After a suitable time for contemplation, no matter how seemingly brief,
it was determined by unanimous consent of all True Christians present
the following findings of fact:
1. You are a thoroughly annoying person;
2. Your presence in God's Glory would make it extremely difficult for
"Heaven" to live up to its name; and
3. Therefore, you have been damned to an everlasting Hell, to have your
flesh gnawed at by voracious hoofed demons.
The Lord has specifically asked us to remind you that your consignment
to perpetual torture at the hands of deranged beasts of His making
should in no manner be construed as any indication that the Lord has, by
either design or omission, discontinued His unconditional love of you.
And, further, you are not to construe our relief in the knowledge that
we shall not be sharing God's Glory with someone as appallingly wretched
as you (or the look of sublime delight that flashes across our otherwise
inscrutable faces when we contemplate the agony of your much deserved
destiny) as diminishing our love for you as True Christians.
Wishing you a speedy descent,
Mrs. Betty Bowers, Chairlady & America's Best Christian
You may rebuke someone less pious than you (if, of course, you are able
to locate such a rare specimen) by going to the following URL:
http://www.bettybowers.com/cgi-bin/ebuke.cgi
Here is a message from Jimbo Wales to you -
You are hereby banned from editing Wikipedia or any other projects of
the Wikimedia Foundation. This takes effect immediately.
-- Jimbo
Betty Bowers is a Better Christian Than You -
http://www.bettybowers.com/
--
Alphax -
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Alphax
Contributor to Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia
"We make the internet not suck" - Jimbo Wales
Public key:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Alphax/OpenPGP