Dear Val,
I've now read and reread your message (quoted below) several times, and
want to thank you for putting this important concept in such clear and
tangible terms.
I have just one thing to add:
It seems to me that this points to a broader issue that's deeply connected
with the social dynamics of collaborative communities that value public
communication, and is not restricted to gender-related topics. In the
Wikimedia world, we have lots of people who are willing, even eager, to
offer help and advise in a wide variety of areas, but that don't feel any
special *responsibility* to meet specific expectations for help and advice.
So frequently, we encounter frustrations when people seeking help
(analogous to your example of men with poor social skills -- but I'm trying
to look at it broadly, as "people lacking XYZ skills") encounter some kind
of resistance on our projects, and assume that the people around them will
take the time to educate them.
This dynamic can lead to all kinds of discord, but in many cases, it isn't
really any one person's fault.
I think this is something worthy of some careful thought, and probably
research. It would be great if we could think through how expectations of
assistance play out throughout our projects; I suspect that we would start
to see some ways to improve not only the gender gap, but perhaps some other
general negative dynamics in the movement.
-Pete
[[User:Peteforsyth]]
On Wed, Jul 2, 2014 at 3:33 PM, Valerie Aurora <valerie(a)adainitiative.org>
wrote:
Hi Phoebe,
Thanks for your thoughtful and carefully explained comment! The
perspective I am coming from here is over 13 years of experience with
spaces for supporting women in open tech/culture, starting with
LinuxChix in 2002.
A pattern that groups like this have found over and over again is that
a spaces designed to support women in these areas inevitably attract
men with poor social skills, who then ask the group for (unpaid) help
improving their social skills. In most open tech/culture groups, such
requests would be unthinkable, but we are often socialized to expect
women to provide emotional support and help to others (especially men
and children) on request, without consideration for the value of their
time and energy.
The result is that, without a strong awareness and guarding of the
original purpose of the group, the group dedicates an ever-larger
portion of its time to teaching men social skills. Many of the people
who are interested in the original purpose of the group tend to lose
interest and depart. This is exactly what happened to LinuxChix - our
IRC channel became primarily about counseling various men who had
found a welcoming and supportive environment, and our mailing lists
were more enjoyable and fulfilling for men looking for emotional
boosts than for women looking for a supportive environment where they
could talk about Linux.
In short, I agree with you that there is some potential benefit to
providing free social skills counseling to men who are interested in
supporting women in open tech/culture. In my experience, the cost is
much greater: the time and emotional energy of many women that could
be used much more effectively on other projects.
-VAL
--
Valerie Aurora
Executive Director
You can help increase the participation of women in open technology and
culture!
Donate today at
http://adainitiative.org/donate/
_______________________________________________
Gendergap mailing list
Gendergap(a)lists.wikimedia.org
https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap