That's an incredibly extreme interpretation of it. And in my experience, fortunately, most of the world doesn't work that way.

In fact, Id suggest only the people here are interpreting it that way.

Which I've always found one of the key difficulties combatting sexism (same for lgbt issues).

As to the whole being too nicey issue: the alternative is to speak like I do to everyone else on every other list, which in the past got me accused of being sexist and unpleasant.

I'll say again; I know some people could view it as sexist. And they should properly voice their concerns to educate those they see as offenders. But they may also be wrong, and in this case I think you are. And in doing so caused the sort of environment that really does put people off.

But I am so disappointed with people on this list that I thought to be measured and thoughtful I really can't be bothered with you anymore. Sorry.

Tom

On 19 Jul 2013 19:22, "Carol Moore dc" <carolmooredc@verizon.net> wrote:
For those who don't quite get it, let's parse this original post, from a sample of possible viewpoints of various female or males users coming across this and trying to interpret it:

1. "Another admin issue": Hmm, what could this be? What is this B.S.?
2. "Today {{U|LadyofShalott}}, ''administratrice extraordinaire'', turns 25 yet again. "  Birthday greetings, is that appropriate? Why is he inferring she's lying about her age?  That b*tch is lying about her age? I hate women admins.
3. "She likes champagne and chocolate, and giftcards for the iTunes store. She graciously accepts compliments about the beauty of her mind and her body."  Isn't that a bit personal and intrusive? Is he trying to make her look like a gold digger?  She's an attention whore?? A real slut? Is she coming to the next wikimania? etc.
4. Edit summary: " we can hit her up in French, je pense) "  Borrow money from her? French kiss her? Fuck her?

Pardon the crude language, but given the constant arguing back on this, I think we need to be explicit about what kind of thoughts such a message will engender.   Doubters are quite naive if they think some horny young guys (who abound on Wikipedia) - not to mention any active misogynists - did not read negative or suggestive interpretations into that message!! 

Note again that the woman it was addressed to explains it was from a friend and ok but also writes: "I also understand the concerns that others have raised. "
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Administrators%27_noticeboard#Another_admin_issue

Some people will take it as being sexualized or abusive; others will get off on it and see an excuse for writing sexually abusive things about women editors they do not know.  And many women will worry that editors who are giving them problems may feel free to leave such strange messages in public places about them...

Understand now,??

On 7/19/2013 11:34 AM, Sarah Stierch wrote:
So..

That means...myself, and about 10 other people or however many have replied to this saying it is sexist are the .01% of women (and a of men) who are the absolute minority in feeling it was sexist regardless of the "level" of sexism. We are that sample. Wow. I can't believe we are all on this one mailing list! (Smirk)

Most of the comments (maybe all) have been made by Americans, too. So maybe it's us being the sensitive ones, too. (Slight sarcasm but not) I know some countries and cultures are more accepting of things like this - but that doesn't mean it's OK. ...



_______________________________________________
Gendergap mailing list
Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org
https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap